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Sympathy Etiquette Guide
Q: What is the best style for a
funeral arrangement? How do I order a "special" design?
A: Highly personalized sympathy
tributes depicting an aspect of a person’s life are very popular. If he
loved the outdoors, perhaps a funeral piece including branches and natural
materials would be best. If she was a gardener, maybe a tribute with a
collection of garden flowers would be best. The key to ordering a unique
design is to give the florist a few hints about the deceased or about
yourself. Click here to view
our Sympathy Tributes Guide if you need help selecting an appropriate
arrangement.
Q: If the death notice mentions a
charitable donation is it still appropriate to send flowers?
A: Flowers help say what is often
difficult to express. This is why it is always appropriate and in good
taste to send an arrangement. Flowers add warmth to the service and
provide the emotional support so important to the family at this time--the
highest point of their grief. If you cannot attend the viewings or
services, your words and comforting thoughts are with the family and
friends. If you can attend, your flowers reinforce your expressions of
sympathy.
Q: Is it appropriate to send flowers
to the family’s home?
A: Sending flowers to the home is a
thoughtful way to express your condolences. While some people choose to
send flowers to the home immediately, others prefer to wait a week or
longer. In the weeks after the service, sending flowers can be a
comforting gesture that you haven’t forgotten. Click here to view
sympathy flowers appropriate for sending to the family's home.
Q: If several of us want to send
flowers together, how do we sign our names so that the family knows who it is
from?
A: There should room on the enclosure
card for several names; however, if there are more than a few, it is best to
sign the card as a group, such as "The Gang in Shipping" or "The Jones
Family". It is also wise to include a contact name and address on the
card so the family can properly thank you.
Q: Is it appropriate to send a plant
to the funeral home? If so, will they send it over to the family after the
service?
A: Yes, it is appropriate to send a
green or flowering plant, or a dish garden. Some funeral homes will
deliver plants or flowers to the home if specified. In some cases, the florist
may make arrangements to pick up the plant after the services and deliver it to
the family. Otherwise, the funeral director will simply notify the family
that they may take the plants with them after the service. Check with
your florist to see what is customary for your area. Click here to view
or selections of plants appropriate for funerals.
Q: What is appropriate to send for a
cremation?
A: A tastefully designed floral tribute
adds beauty to any type of memorial. Families usually have a piece made
especially for display next to the urn; others who wish to express their
sympathy can send an appropriate tribute. Florists in many areas may have
specific suggestions for arrangements. Click
here to view our Sympathy Tributes Guide for suggestions.
Special thanks to our friend JB from Expressions in Bloom,
Corvallis, OR for some of the content!
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